Blueness Hour

I held him
Pressed very tightly to my head
But only one
Tiny moment of inattention
blew him away
Into the freezing sea.
Without thinking
I rushed after him
And fell
Deeper than he fell.
I came
out again,
dismayed
And hurt.
But I can't remember
Did I get him back?
Maybe it was in my hands
Maybe he drifted out to sea.
I do not know it anymore.
Like Schrödinger's cat
Is he with me
Or is he gone?
who will open the lid
But me
And look inside
as i tell you
That it's too late
How I say it
And try to mean it.